Why the state of Illinois should be considered a domestic terrorist…

After yesterday’s post, I was all hot and bothered and ready to jump into arbor-advocacy.  I’m easily distracted… typically by dinosaurs… so I wanted to act now before I forgot I wanted to do it.

A couple google searches later and I was halted in my tracks. THE STATE OF ILLINOIS DOESN’T CELEBRATE ARBOR DAY!  What the fuck?!!? What kind of worthless excuse for a state am I living in for christ’s sake?!? France !?!? This is the most un-patriotic, un-American thing I’ve heard since that Muslim Obama was elected.

I FOR ONE AM TAKING A STAND. One of the things the Arbor Day Foundation suggests doing, in honor of Arbor Day, is writing a poem.  And I agree. What better way to show your love for trees than by writing a poem on paper.  You know, Trees and Paper are really analogous to God and Jesus.  Trees have died on the cross (actually, they comprised the cross) for your writing pleasures.  The least you could do is write something about them. 

So, in defiance of this godless state’s ban on Arbor Day, I offer this…

Coniferous, deciduous, how I love thee

Oak, Fir, Chestnut, and Hickory

From a tiny seed, you sprouted tall and lean

A tender sapling, with pride you beam

Increasing girth, each year brings

Chronicling the ages with your telling rings

I breathe into you, you breathe into me

Such symbiosis, it was meant to be

This poem was quite a labor of love... while the words came organically, I had difficulty deciding how to publish it.  Writing it by hand was too emotional... I wanted to use a No.2 pencil, so I could feel the poem's tree spirit move from the pencil to the paper, but all I had were mechanical pencils. Fucking Obama.

When I decided to type it, what font would I use? Apple Chancery sounds like it was invented for tree poems, but then again, Curlz is the new Comic Sans.  And yet Lucida Blackletter is so regal, like a mighty Sequoia.  Which do you like best? Let me know and I'll make you a photocopy and mail it. Do you want it on regular weight matte paper, or maybe glossy? I could also do tag-board. 

Wow. That was intense. What an emotional roller coaster. That's all for today guys.